Creating Deeper Connection: An Act of Growth

By Samuel Sulaiman Bah

Generally the concept about relationship comes in different perspective being much of personal thoughts and opinions based on experiences. However all relationships are unique, and this gives the notion why people come together for different reasons.

Defining a relationship constitute sharing common goal, ie. how you want your relationship to be and where you want your relationship to go. You can only be able to do that, when you have deeper conversation, time and intimacy with your partner.

When we talk about deeper connections we are illustrating some characteristics which should be constant in every relationship. They are the common and basic principles which keeps your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and much more exciting to the extend that whatever goals you are working towards or the challenges you about to face will definitely makes you stronger whenever they present themselves.

HOW DO YOU CREATE DEEPER CONNECTION AS AN ACT OF GROWTH:

1. FRIENDSHIP

The foundation of every relationship is the "Power of Friendship" and in creating Deeper Connections, accepting each other as friends can open doors towards trust, intimacy, respect, and continuity.

Growth in every relationship ultimately emerges from a healthy relationship as a friend, not just a friend but a best friend.

Starting from here will always put you at an advantage to whatever connection you have with your partner, it will also create and maintain a necessity towards each other.

In order for friendship to be genuinely active, it needs "Time, Effort, Commitment and Courage".

If there is no constant feeling of emotional connection, then there will be no form of stability because a lack of involvement will only served to distance emotional connection between two people.

Friendship should be at the centre of every relationship, because it gives an opportunity for each other to have a clear understanding of what is and what's not. If both parties are sure to embrace themselves despite each other's flaws will be an advantage to a successful relationship.

Friendship takes time and energy, whenever there is willingness from both parties it will create an intention for both parties to work together intimately and share many things in common.

An example of Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings tips on 4 Habits of All Successful Relationships 2020 .TEDXSquareMile (YouTube).

1. BE CURIOUS, NOT CRITICAL = APPRECIATE EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCE.

2. BE CAREFUL, NOT CRUSHING- FIGHT OR FLIGHT IS SELFISH- CONFLICT BOUNDARIES

3. ASK, DON'T ASSUME- DISCUSSING ISSUES.

4. CONNECT BEFORE YOU CORRECT- COMMUNICATE VALUE AND APPRECIATION- HOLDING CRITICISM, PEOPLE STAY WHERE THEY FEEL VALUED.

2. COMMUNICATION:

Communication is key to every relationship as it brings about an understanding of each other's words, it allows an openness to genuine resolutions whether we are angry with each other or not.

Being able to communicate will also create deeper connections, it breeds about knowledge and understanding of who we are as a person, what we think about, how we want to deal with the issues that comes up and agreement on the roles and responsibilities we want to share together. It destroys any form of assumption but gives a construct feed back on our thought, ideas and specific ways that will ensure a successful relationship.

A lack of communication does not yield fruit in any relations, instead it creates a distance between both parties.

Communication, is more of an investment in our relationship, whatever you value more you are bound to invest on them, the same goes for communicating in our relationship, if we value and appreciate our friendship, then we should try to invest and value our communication, cos it brings about fun, anticipation and warmth in a relationship.

We need to be deliberate about sharing a balance when we are in constant communications with each other.

3. BE A GOOD LISTENER

We all should learn to be a good listener, cos it shows how curious and careful we are in building our relationships. Whenever we take such responsibility to acknowledge and make it a point of duty to listen to each other, we show a growing concern over our mental health and well-being.

Having a healthy relationship that brings growth, we should be safe to express things that bother or uplift us, we should not be afraid to share them with our partners. No one should be in the position to intimidate the other from expressing themselves but rather give space to openness and sincerity and a platform to discuss on anything.

Giving each other the opportunity to talk without fear and intimidation, we should also be ready to listen to each other, as this will create a balance to resolving conflict of interest without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right.

4. DATING AND KEEPING PHYSICAL INTIMACY ALIVE:

Yes we all want to feel close and much more closer to the people we love and care about, so in order to cultivate that feeling there is the need for emotional connection, this can be developed naturally or consciously.

Dating and keeping physical intimacy alive means we will have to take things a bit further which makes our relationship more meaningful.

Remember, when we learn to deepen our relationship, it brings about growth and makes our personal life better.

You don't only need to involve in a sexual or romantic relationship to build physical intimacy, you can do that by spending quality time together, especially with someone you feel connected and share common interest and activities.

However let's look at some of the few common factors to help in dating and physical intimacy with each other in order to create deeper and meaningful connections:

1. Trust:

Giving your trust means giving your whole self to someone, and in doing so you share your deepest fears and secret, this shows you can trust them not to share that with others just the two of you. Showing someone you are trust worthy can bring them more closer to you.

2. Acceptance:

When someone feels they are accepted for who they are regardless of anything, this makes them feels confident and comfortable.

3. Honesty:

Being honest to each other creates a more deeper connection in your relationship. Keeping secrets and acting in ways that does not show any form of moral consciousness will be the end of every relationship.

Honesty brings about a moral obligation to being faithful with each other. The less secrets you have and open to conversations the more you feel safe in your relationship and thus brings you a bit closer to each other.

4. Affection:

Is caring about each other. It gives a feeling to do what necessary. It does not need to be told, it is an obligation to show how responsible you are to your partner. It can be physical like a kiss and spending time with your partner even though he/she doesn't ask for it, surprising them with gifts or even helping them in whatever situation they might find themselves. You don't have to do a 100% but it has to be 100% meaning you have to be there at all time whenever you are called upon.

5. Compassion:

In every relationship there are challenges, this can be a wrongful act by your partner, in situation like this, you don't need to be so angry and intend to keep away from them or leave them vulnerable to other things that might comes up. So you forgive them, talk with them and understand what is wrong and why did they act in such a way. By doing so, you also helped to heal yourself.

Remember intimacy takes quality time when you cultivate it by spending and sharing each other's feelings and experiences.